Photo: woods wheatcroft photography

What’s the Secret to a Better Relationship?

Crossed fingers IIBoth men and women believe that often the problem with a relationship is men. I suppose you could change partners to get a better relationship… or you could change the model of how to create a good relationship. Why do we blame men?

  • Men just don’t get it
  • Men are non-emotional
  • Men don’t care
  • Men check out

These experiences may be true, but we need to find the cause and solution before we can change it. As men we were “trained” to be unemotional. When men went to work in the fields, we started separating ourselves from our families. Then 200 years ago, when we left the fields for the factories, our separation accelerated. Until lately, when men started taking a more active role in child-rearing, there was very little day-to-day male role modeling of masculine emotional expressions.

By default, boys and men still get much of their emotional education from women. In spite of women’s best attempt to fill the void, men still lack all the emotional modeling they need. We don’t learn how to communicate emotionally to a woman. We don’t learn how to be aware of our feelings and needs. We don’t learn Masculine Emotional Intelligence™.

Eight years ago I started the Sandpoint Men’s Group (SMG) so we could teach each other what we’d missed in our emotional upbringing. Our success far exceeded my expectations. With over 75 men participating in our free groups, we’ve seen amazing results in men’s relationships. Women who were packing their bags now have husbands who exceed what they ever thought possible.

SMG has received national recognition for the depths and power our groups. To fulfill the demand for what we created, we created Free to Win (F2W) to train other men in the core skills we teach and how to start their own groups. Our One Day events are hands-on experiences of a men’s group. Men realize all they need to do is show up as themselves to receive the powerful benefits of being in a men’s group.

These One Days and groups teach men that discovering what was never taught is no different than learning a new sport. This time you are learning with your team. SMG and F2W are sponsoring their next One Day Saturday, January 26 here in Sandpoint. To learn more, go to (note it’s .co — not .com).

Owen Marcus, MA Certified Advanced Rolfer,, with 33 yrs experience – call if you have questions: 265.8440. Owen also blogs at about men and relationships.


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